Thursday, December 18, 2008

My New House!!!!!

After our home buying experience turned sour, we have been, understandably, unenthusiastic to look again. But, after some thought-mostly on my part might I add-a solution has been reached..... It's time to build.

Meet the contractor:

And, due to the amazingly mad skills of the above mentioned contractor, it only took about ten minutes! Here is our house going through inspection:

Isn't it lovely? Note the craftsmanship:

And I can't wait until we can install the security system...I'm really sick of thugs trying to break in:

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Note to Self: Brush My Hair

So today I did my hair slightly disheveled and curly and I thought it looked pretty darn cute, if I do say so my self. It had that casual "I didn't have to try too hard to look fabulous" look about it. As a point of reference, I offer these two pictures.
More Like This:

Not So Much Like This:

I walk in to class and they all turn and greet me and act like they haven't seen me in months and thought I was dead but really I was there less than 20 hours ago. Then, one says "Miss Kim, did you forget to brush your hair?" and another adds "Yeah, did you just wake up?" and yet another "You need to go brush your hair!". Awesome. I was laughing hard, the teacher was laughing hard. True to form, the little girls back me up by saying "I think it looks cute" but who knows if that's true because last week they wanted to smell me and decided I smelled pretty.

Note to self: Brush hair before leaving house.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Movie Etiquette Guide

Husband and I recently visited our local single screen theatre to see the newest Bond film, Quantum of Solace (I highly recommend it but that’s a different story). The lights dimmed and the previews started. The group of 6 in front of us didn’t quiet down but I just figured it was because it was the previews…I’d give them a chance until the movie started. One girl in the group kept her cell out and was texting while chattering with the rest of her little group. Again, I figured she’d quit once the movie started, no need to get annoyed yet. Everybody knows you show Bond respect, right? Green screen with rating then black….We open to an amazing chase featuring an incredibly sexy Aston Martin…chattering quiets but doesn’t stop, cell phone backlight fills my vision. Strike One. Crash, shift, close up on Bond…..chattering stops, cell phone backlight glares. Strike Two. WOW! Did he just do that? ...giggle from cell girl and backlight again. Strike Three. I tap her shoulder and ask her to put her phone away. “What?” she asks. “Put your freaking phone away please” I say, emphasizing in just the right spot. She gets it. I don’t see a cell again. One would think that if somebody asked you to stop one disrupting action that all others would desist as well so as not to cause the wrath of having to be asked to stop something else. Nope. The girl continued to giggle and talk but I was too worried I would strangle her and it wasn’t frequent enough for proper action to be taken. Her friends however, did not quit. One guy in particular was especially awful. He would hold on lengthy conversations with his neighbor. We coughed, shhh, but to no avail. Then over an hour in, husband finally leaned forward an asked him to be quiet. Eurika! He shut up!
Had this been my first encounter in a period of time, I would have let it slide as a fluke. But, unfortunately, our society has fallen into a state of movie rudeness. Perhaps society is too broad of a term…I shall redefine it as 16-25 year old singles. What happened to this generation to think it was ok to behave so inappropriately while in a theatre?

I have the answer. Apparently, these people have not been given their official “Movie Theatre Etiquette: A Dummies Guide”. So, in order to help rectify this atrocity, I have decided to post it on my blog. (I am not saying any of my 3 readers are such baboons, but perhaps they can spread the information once it has been so eloquently put by Yours Truly)

Lesson One: How to Behave
1. Cell Phones
a. Ringer set to SILENT or VIBRATE ONLY
b. No texting unless in pocket or screen thoroughly covered so the backlight cannot be seen by other patrons.
c. Do not answer any received calls. If you feel the need to answer a call, kindly excuse yourself to the lobby.
2. Talking
a. WHISPER ,WHISPER, WHISPER. To help the person you are talking to hear you, lean towards them and aim your mouth at their ear.
b. There is positively no need to go into an Aviation history lesson just because there is a plane in the movie. Keep comments to a minimum.

Lesson Two: How to respond to bad behavior

If the Offender is behind you:
Might I recommend using the following in order. Only jump to a later step if the behavior is especially atrocious or if you want to nip it in the butt early, as I did above, because you have a hunch you have an especially rambunctious bunch.
1. Half turn: Without moving your body, turn our head to the side and give a small glare out of your peripheral, making brief eye contact.
2. Full Turn: Turn your body to the side and give small and brief glare to Offender with head facing them head on.
3. Full turn and “Hello?”: Do full turn and add one of the following- A “what the heck” look, a whispered “hello?”, a point at the screen, or a “Shhh” with a finger to the lips.
4. Verbal Warning: Ask them to be quiet. Depending on how many of the previous steps have been taken, an amount of rudeness may be called for. Use Foul Language with discretion or go for a mild alternative like I did above.
If the Offender is in front of you (probably the trickier because no mild glances can be given)
1. Non Offensive noise: Make a non offensive, but clearly deliberate, noise. For example, a clearing of the throat, cough, sigh, etc.
2. Shhhh: Classic and effective
3. The Tap and Ask: Make a quick tap to the Offender’s shoulder or seat depending on position. Then ask kindly for them to stop. Depending on how many times the above have been repeated or on how much you foresee a problem occurring again, altering levels of rudeness may be required.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Case of the Were-Kindergartners

In all my time learning of mythical creatures, I have never learned of the Were-Kindergartner. Is it perhaps because they are so rare they haven't been adequately documented? Or is it, perhaps as I believe, because there is a conspiracy afoot that wants to keep this phenomenon under wraps.

Today started out as any other day at work. I show up, I wonder around remind children that C makes a /c/ noise, etc. I take them to recess, then make sure they don't kill each other until the bell rings. Remind more children of the /c/ noise, go to lunch, make sure they eat and don't kill each other....well you get the idea. There were only subtle signs that something wasn't right...too subtle. I didn't truly pick up on it until a half hour through. Were these kids turning into, dare I say it, monsters???

Yes, yes they were. What yesterday seemed to be sweet and innocent 5 year olds had, overnight, turned into demons! Yelling, throwing, kicking, name calling, tattling, spitting, jumping. I wanted to pull my hair out by recess. At lunch, my most dreaded time of day on normal days and today doubly dreaded, one of the other lady's expressed to me her difficulties. It wasn't just my naughty bunch? What had taken over the bodies of these kids? At that point the lights dimmed and thunder struck outside. Wind blew around the cafeteria and somewhere in the distance a witch cackled. Another lady leaned in to us and told us, a singular light shining on her face, that it was the full moon! WERE-KINDERGARTNERS! They get especially rambunctious on full moon days.

Well, I don't know if JK Rowling or Obert Skye will be writing any books on the matter, but I thought you should all be aware and on the look out.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Slow People Watching Day

My desperate need for Facebook Scramble and Twilight movie news has led me to do desperate things for internet service. I've starting coming to the library to lap up as much wireless internet time as I can before my laptop battery dies every day after work. Well, not every day, but pretty much. Though, I must has been interesting.

I'd like to think of myself as a people watcher. I can't help it. Perhaps you could think of me as the Jane Goodall of humans. Somedays are incredibly interesting...others are slow. Today is slow. Nothing too fun going on. Even the wierd laptop guy is staying to his table. You see, normally he tries to talk to me about laptop cases. Its awkward. I'm glad he's staying at his table by Fiction. I like to stick to the square table by the Children's books.

So, for today's THIS DAY IN THE LIBRARY, I will only talk about spelling. There are three people who are trying to figure out how to spell "psychology". Do I help or let them fumble their way through it?......Fumble. I'm glad we agree. I wonder how long it will take them to figure out there is a "P" at the beginning....